Heart break – how to deal

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Remember the last time you had your heart broken?

Not by someone you were (or wanted to be) with.

Do you remember the last time you had your heart broken by the entertainment industry?

Of course you do.

The hardest part about being in actor is not “all the rejection” as they say.  It’s the heartbreak.

In your personal life, heartbreak sucks.

But as an actor, you have chosen a life that includes professional heartbreak for as long as you’re playing the game.

Just last week a dear friend of mine had a fresh heartbreak.  A pilot came along that she was not only perfect for, but the subject matter is something she has invested years of her life studying and learning about out on her personal time.

After a lengthy audition preparation that included going all out in the room, she didn’t get the role.  Or even a callback.

Normally this would be par for the course.

The more attached you are to a role or a project, the harder it is.

It’s easy to say.  Easy to understand.

But then that role comes along.  That perfect part that feels like it was made especially for you.

And then you don’t get it.

What then?

How do you deal with a broken heart?

The first step is to let yourself be exactly where you are.  If you try to jump to the logical brain, or tell yourself, “I know I shouldn’t be attached,” at the expense of feeling what you’re actually feeling, it won’t work.

When you deny or avoid  your emotions, they will find a way to be heard.  Usually by coming out in unhealthy ways.

Carve out some time and space to let yourself sit with the heartbreak.  Go for a walk without your phone or music.  Do some journaling.

beautifulpeopleForgive yourself.  Forgive yourself for putting unrealistic pressure on yourself, for buying into the idea that you’re not good enough.  Whatever hot button issue the heartbreak is pushing, forgive yourself for negative beliefs it stirs up within you.

Dig deeper to get to the truth.  The truth is you are strong and capable.  The truth is, every heartbreak is an opportunity to have more love for yourself, to have more compassion and patience.  The truth is, each disappointment has the potential to make you stronger and more prepared for the next big thing.

After you feel the heartbreak in all its fullness, you clear the space for the truth to come rushing in.  Open your heart and your mind to receive it.

Jobs will come and go.  People will come and go. The quality of your life depends fully on who and how you show up in the world.  And that part is completely in your hands.  Choose to live well!

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

William fortier March 24, 2015 at 3:37 pm

Yes, Emily
Accepting loss with out the self- flogging
is tough to do. It’s easy say I should have done this or that. Great article about accepting and knowing you did your audition with certain choices and that the dice didn’t roll in your favor. Feel the loss and keep punching!


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