Cure Your Spaghetti Syndrome

by emily on April 2, 2012

I have had such a blast putting together the free Build Your Own Buzz video launch.  My intention has been to make actor-marketing strategies fun, accessible, and easy to implement for as many actors as possible.  And thanks to the collaborative genius of David Title at Bravo Media Inc., I think we have done just that.

Have you checked it out the FREE video series yet? No???? Go here right now to check it out.  Not only is it free, it’s only available until April 9.

But the crazy perfectionist in me is also disappointed that we didn’t have the time or resources to include everything I wanted this time around.  In classic Emily Grace fashion, I bit off more than I could chew, and if you’ve ever created your own project, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

While big ideas and great ambition can push you to do more than you thought you were capable of, there also comes a time when you realize that you can’t always express your full vision.  It’s painful to kill a great idea.  But sometimes, for the good of the project, you just have to.

There was a great video concept we wanted to make about the dangers of “The Spaghetti Syndrome” – a disease affecting scores of actors across the globe.  The classic example of Spaghetti Syndrome in action is when an actor wants to try voice over AND film acting AND book a tv credit, so they’re taking a dance class and a Shakespeare workshop.  These goals and actions are all over the place, leading sideways instead of forward, and it’s a lot like throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks.  It’s really hard to build career momentum when you’re going all over the place.

Unfortunately our cut of the video just wasn’t working.  It was kind of all over the place (a lot like the Spaghetti Syndrome) and we didn’t have the time or resources to reshoot the way it was intended to be.  So we had to kill it.  Which, I’ll admit, was quite painful, but in the long run, was the best thing for the video launch.  I had to take my own advice and cut out what wasn’t working, to put time and energy into what was.  To me, this launch was “better done than perfect” and in order to get it out on time, we had to cut out some good stuff.  Them’s the breaks.

But the concept is both entertaining and true, and just because the video is on the cutting room floor, doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the creative concept.  So I’d like to share the draft of the script for what would have been the Spaghetti Syndrome video.  Keep in mind it’s a draft and not formatted correctly.  So be it.  If you can handle that, please enjoy it!

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Cure Your Spaghetti Syndrome

A drug commercial spoof

DRAMATIZATION

Series of sad faced, depressed shots, like that animated sad blob with the overhanging cloud, or that creepy robe with eyeballs that looks like Cookie Monster from the Abilify commercial.

ACTRESS
“I couldn’t make a decision. I felt like I was spinning my wheels. I was depressed.
It got to the point where I didn’t know who I was anymore.”

MONTAGE of actress showing how versatile she is by playing characters she would never be hired for (A bratty teen, Lady Capulet, Forest Gump, Gollum).

COMPASSIONATE VOICE (VO)
“The life of an actor hurts…”

ACTRESS
“Then, my doctor told me I had The Spaghetti Syndrome.”

INSERT shot of spaghetti tossed at the wall

COMPASSIONATE VOICE (VO)
“Spaghetti Syndrome is a debilitating disease affecting 4 out of 5 actors.”

TITLE CARD  & VO

Symptoms include:

  • Completely random acting goals
  • Throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what sticks
  • Extreme fear of talking about oneself
  • Avoidance of taking action
  • High levels of anxiety
  • Uncontrollable urges to self submit to every online casting notice, regardless of type, age range, gender or ethnicity
  • Allergic reaction to marketing and networking
  • Entertainment industry overwhelm
  • Exhaustion
  • Burn out

COMPASSIONATE VOICE (VO)
“Build Your Own Buzz can help you break free.”

 

ACTRESS
“Now I toss my spaghetti in a pasta dish – not at the wall.
With Build Your Own Buzz I finally understand how to create career momentum.

MONTAGE of confident actress-y things – successful auditions, photoshoot, signing a “you’re hired” contract, eating spaghetti…

ACTRESS
“I NOW have:
Clear and specific acting goals. A step-by-step marketing plan to achieve them.
The confidence that my acting success is a matter of WHEN and not IF.
Plus I’m having the best sex of my life.
Thanks Build Your Own Buzz! “

COMPASSIONATE VOICE (VO)
“Cure your spaghetti syndrome today!”

We hold on the smiling, confident, happy actress looking directly into camera.  As the side effects voice over continues, she grows increasingly disgusted, alarmed, paranoid and freaked out by what she’s hearing.

COMPASSIONATE VOICE (VO)

“Build Your Own Buzz is not for everyone. Side effects of joining build your own buzz include dry mouth, constipation, bleeding from multiple body parts.  If you attempt suicide, discontinue using BYOB immediately. Build Your Own Buzz is not habit forming.  Discontinue use if uncontrollable muscle spasms occur.  This are now permanent, there’s nothing you can do.  Sorry.  Attempting to sleep with low level producers to get ahead may indicate you have a serious problem.  Amazing sex is NOT guaranteed.”

ACTRESS
“What the f——-”

Her voice is bleeped out.  We awkwardly CUT TO:

Color bars. Then:

TITLE CARD
Cure Your Spaghetti Syndrome
Create career momentum with Build Your Own Buzz
Enroll March 25-April 9

FADE TO BLACK

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I hope you enjoyed this little behind the scenes look at what could’ve been.  And if you haven’t enrolled in Build Your Own Buzz – what are you waiting for? Get your butt in here!

Leave a comment.

Do you suffer from Spaghetti Syndrome?  Share one thing you can take TODAY to get out of your head and into action.

Come on now.  Don’t think about it – just do it.  Just be sure to post your action below to keep yourself accountable.

(For real – keep your comments on topic and be respectful)

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Caroline April 10, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Love!!! So needed!

Reply

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