It’s not working

by emily on July 16, 2014

Ever feeling like you’re doing “everything right” and it’s still not working?

We create to do lists for our acting goals.  Create strategies and plans.  We make check lists and mark the tasks off one by one.

And yet, despite all that work, nothing happens.

The results we set out to achieve aren’t manifesting.

Whatever we’re doing isn’t working.

What then?

boulderI was asked this question recently, and it put right back to those times in my life where I’ve felt that way too.  Like I’m pushing the boulder up the acting success mountain and it keeps pushing me back down to the bottom.

What do you do when you’re checking off all the to do boxes, and seemingly doing what you “should” do, only to find that you’re not moving forward?

After all, working harder is not always the answer.  There is only so hard one can work and so many hours in the day.  And if what you’re doing isn’t working, does it make logical sense to increase your output of what doesn’t work?


Take a break.

Let go of the results you’re trying to “make” happen.

Go inward.

The thing about goals is that it’s not really the goal we are after.  It’s the feelings we assume we will have once we have that goal.  Things like freedom, success, validation, joy.

Goals are vehicles that deliver a state of being that we seek.  Or at least, we assume the goal will be the vehicle.

In some cases, we are deeply disappointed to find that once we have the goal, we feel basically the same as we did before.

Which is why it’s so important to go inward.  To reconnect with your true self (and your true goals).

A state of being can be achieved right now, today, even without those precious goals.

In fact, most of us create incessant suffering for ourselves because we make the experience of the state of being contingent on the goal.

But you’ve seen people who seemingly have it all – money, fame, accolades, freedom, impressive careers, sex with beautiful people, entree to “the club” of global travel, special treatment, world class service, and pretty much anything they could ever want.  And sometimes those people implode.  They self destruct.  They sabotage every good opportunity they have and basically burn it all down and destroy themselves.

It’s not the stuff that makes a difference.  It’s not the dream role or A-list director or big trailer on the studio lot that ultimately matters.

inwardWhat matters is who you are as a person and how you show up in the world.  How you treat others and how you treat yourself.  What you appreciate and what you value.  And you have everything you could ever need to be filled with joy for a lifetime available to you this very minute – when you take time to go inward and connect to what really matters.

The trick is, the more you can call that feeling into your experience now (freedom, joy, gratitude, fun, success), the more you attract that feeling into your life unconsciously.  And yes, many times it is the achievement of your goals that delivers more of that feeling to you.

But if you pin all your hopes on and dreams on that one big goal, and expect that when you get that thing THEN you’ll be happy, fulfilled, self loving, or fill in the blank, the truth is, you’ll probably never get there.  Even if/when you get the thing, you’ll be on top of the world for about 10 minutes.  And then you’ll go back to being the real you, warts and all.

So take some time to meditate.  Do a free write.  Go quietly inward and remember who you really are and why you’re really hear.  When you can identify the feeling or state of being you have been chasing through your goals, make conscious effort to call that feeling into your life right now, with what and whom you have available to you.

Because you deserve all the happiness and joy one can possibly experience.  It’s just up to you to let that experience begin within you.

Leave a comment.  What state of being are you looking for?  What in your life already gives that feeling to you, and how can you make time for it this week?

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Summer is the perfect time to lay a powerful foundation for the rest of the year.  Click here for details and to grab your VIP day while spots are left.  I only offer this once a year, so the time to say YES to your success is now.

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It’s been a weekend of celebration!IMG_5456

Fireworks for the fourth, my bday on the 6th and…drum roll please…

Our show got extended!

Best birthday present!

Woo hoo!  Yee haw! Fabulous! Happy Dance!

It’s such a great day when the hard work pays off.  Big success comes from small action over a long period of time.

One of our goals was to get picked up for an extended run, and the entire cast and crew worked hard to make that happen.  I’m really proud of the work we’ve all put into the show, and even more ecstatic that the response has been overwhelmingly positive.

Of course, whether or not we got picked up was not our decision.  All we could do was show up and give our best.

joythiefWhen you do take action and it doesn’t lead to instant results, it can be easy to forget to give yourself credit for the action in the first place.  We all fall into the compare/despair trap sometimes.  Sometimes we look at other people and compare our level of success with theirs.  Other times we compare our internal vision with our outer circumstances.

“I have decided this is what should be happening in my life/career and since it isn’t, I feel like a failure.”

It’s a trap that keeps you stuck.  And when you wire your brain to connect taking action with results that you aren’t happy with, it can create the habit of having negative associations with taking action.

I encourage my clients to celebrate the actions that they take along the way.  Results only come from the accumulation of small actions taken over a long period of time.  Training your brain to associate taking action with a feeling of success and celebration will encourage you to take more action.

It’s as important to celebrate the big wins as it is to celebrate the daily action.

At the end of the day, results are out of your hands.  The real success is in taking the action.

And when the results are in your favor, well that’s just icing on the (birthday) cake!

52If you’d like to celebrate our show’s success and catch me onstage, I would be honored to have you in the audience of the encore show for “52 Pick Up”.  Of the nearly 300 plays at the Fringe Festival, ours was one of just a handful that were chosen to return for an encore performance.

It’s happening this Saturday July 12 @ 9:30pm in Hollywood.

Tickets are available here (and if you’re coming, buy soon, seats are very limited!)

If you missed it, 52 Pick Up is a 2 person play that tells a love story in 52 scenes.  The title of each scene is written on a playing card, and at the beginning of each show, the cards are shuffled.  They are turned over one by one, so the actors (audience, director, and even lighting person) have no idea what the next scene is going to be until it happens.

Talk about being in the moment!IMG_5358

More shows are coming in the fall, details TBD, but if you’re in town, catch this encore performance.  I’ll be sharing the stage with the fabulous Nick Hardcastle.

See you at the theatre!

And in the spirit of celebration, THANK YOU for being here!  I’m so grateful to you for reading this, sharing it, liking it, commenting, and being a part of this crazy life in the entertainment industry.

vipReady to be a VIP?  If you’re ready to enter the excuse-free zone and rock that actor-marketing plan like there’s no tomorrow, you just might be perfect for a private VIP day.  You’ll get me all to yourself to customize your step-by-step plan to make those dreams, projects and goals a reality.  Last day to get the birthday price!  (You can still sign up if spots are available, but you’ll pay more).  Details are here.

Leave a comment. What are you celebrating this week?  What are you grateful for?  I wanna hear from you!

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How NOT to invite people to your show…

July 1, 2014

Tweet Our Fringe Festival show closed this weekend, and I’m all out of sorts. Sad face. You know the feeling. You give your soul to a project.  You make new friends, open your heart, spill your guts.  You become a family, spending nights weekends and all your spare time together in service of the show. […]

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I’m not ready

June 10, 2014

Tweet Our show opened this weekend. And I kept telling myself “I’m not ready.” I mentioned how I landed the show in last week’s blog post (no audition necessary).  But I didn’t talk about what the show actually requires. It’s called 52 Pick Up. It’s a 2-actor show that is told in 52 scenes. Like […]

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No Audition Necessary

June 3, 2014

Tweet About a month ago I was cast in a play. Without having to audition.  Or send tape, or really do anything. The part was simply offered to me. Don’t you love it when that happens? I know I do! And part of my mission as an actor-marketing coach is to help you make that […]

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Road trip!

May 27, 2014

Tweet I’ve been on a road trip for the past week (and then some)! We’ve still got some ground to cover, but I put together a little video for ya with some road trip tips. (The audio gets a little out of sync. I went with it since we’re still traveling. I know you’ll forgive […]

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Feel the fear and STOP

May 13, 2014

Tweet Wait a minute. “Feel the fear and…stop”? That’s not how the saying goes… And yet, it is a long-ingrained habit many of us suffer from. Especially when it comes to putting yourself out there as an actor. Last week I had a coaching call with a client that reminded me of how cunning this […]

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Now O’clock

May 5, 2014

Tweet I spent some time with a baby this weekend.   I like babies (although I’m not looking to have one anytime soon). They have a unique perspective that we adults have long forgotten. Everything is new.  The world is full of possibilities and wonder.  People are infinitely interesting (and worthy of love, no questions asked!). […]

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To Do Or Not To Do

April 29, 2014

Tweet I love to do lists. Seeing exactly what I need to get done down on paper helps me feel less overwhelmed, more productive, and on track. Except when it doesn’t. Sometimes the to-do list gets out of control. This mammoth beast woos you into the belief that you have been productive.  In truth you’ve […]

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Let’s keep each other stuck!

April 22, 2014

Tweet Would you hang around with a friend or colleague who offered to help you stay stuck? I hope not. But there is something to be said for the often unconscious influence of the people you hang around with the most. As an actor, or other creative-type navigating the waters of the entertainment industry, you […]

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